Meanwhile, Rajdhani had started to slow down gradually and with starting beep tone "ting-tong", pre-recorded audio Aunty uttered ...."We have reached Amritsar!! Welcome to the Guru City". Finally.....We have reached Amritsar!!..after 6hours from Delhi, of course to visit & explore the great Golden-Temple..... ssshhh!! n one hidden desire of mine too.
Being with 9 bachelors in a dry city...where no liquor allowed || We were treating as GURU City..... It was hard to engage everyone together in a herd.... as we all got spread in the street-nets as spiders in group of 2 to 3.
All sudden, while searching for a lodge...I numbed and turn-backed...with blank mind...alll blankkkkk...........................my heart got started pumping fast....feet going somewhere...following no one......body behaving like chameleon and getting pale......mind recalling all............alllllllllllllllll.
After introvert phenomenal exercise of 5 mins, my mind self-queried:
is she Madhvi??
Madhvi .....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And brain n heart had started chatting with each other.
Yes, she is, along-with her mother. Amritsar is her hometown...but she was working somewhere in Pune or Mumbai. Is she on a visit to her family?? may be, god inside the temple better knows.
But our timings can't be that perfect...I am not even in touch with her since 12Jan, 2011......(WTF!!..I still remember that date...and last week forgot to wish dad on his anniversary...WTF!!).
..... oh yup.. that was her fault...she was fucking using me as time-pass.......but No... I was also enjoying her company and It was my fault as I should not share those harsh words with her that night....on FB chat........left brain n right brain, both were fighting as active-passive node with their counters.
Left countered again ..... "She loves only money...nothing else...first Saurabh n then me".
Right protected her..... She never forced...never proposed...only treated me as a friend.
Friend?? that movie, rain dance, 3-4 hour daily talk, making dinner for me...what was that?
Then why after leaving Wipro, 3-4 hrs daily talk squeezed to 3-4 hours monthly FB Chat?
I was started liking her....and she....she was so sweet when she was in Wipro, we used to take lunches together....she promised me to get in touch in future too...then why??
All that rage got busted after 2-3 beers that day into the FB chat.
Don't no....Alcohol gives us the power to face the real facts, which we don't want to ......or just It is a case with me only....Really don't no!
That was the last discussion with her, I was not in contact with her...or I can tell the truth, She had done me unfriend, and broken all the links. I tried to search her on internet-world, however, failed.
I don't know whether I just liked her or loved her.
Even I don't know whether she left me because I hurt her or because as she had left Wipro, and I was of no use now.
Though, the fact is that ....She was my hidden desire...and from the very first moment after entering the Amritsar city, I was looking for her.
Back to reality and that street ....I also made all my friends U-turn. She crossed me with no-acknowledgement. I was in great dilemma. I want to meet her but last FB chat was working as a breaker to my feet.
finally I followed her for next 300m...and she entered in to a Shani-Temple, where she used to go every Saturday.(Sometimes with me too!!)
I stopped outside, she opened her red bellies, washed her hands and I was watching her.
she purchased a oil-lamp, fire-sticks and I was watching her.
While waiting in queue, trying to arrange her curls from forehead, ring finger with curling bunch following middle finger routing through ear, she looked at her left and all of the sudden...her fingers stoped. She had spotted me....focusing more .....then turning her head back to Shani statue ..... again turned to me.....and Ignored.
With no talk ..... we talked a lot.
I turned back towards my group....bought 2 gas balloons ...... set one free n kept the other one with me........no idea... absolutely no idea...why I did this!...no clue...all with the blank mind!!
Why did Wahe Guru try to meet both of us again...& Why even after, Wahe Guru did not make the conclusion.
Again....No Idea...as always!!
WaheGuru ji ka khalsa......WaheGuru ji ki fateh!!
-NK
